Friday, 17 October 2014

Hoaglandisms - Feel free to add some more

George !!!!! - Can have many meanings. But is usually interpreted as an
instruction for the host to agree with Hoagland or to compliment him.

If you had been following our work - Get ready for the Hoagland bullshit
nozzle to go into overdrive.

My good friend - Hoagland is about to name drop. Usually famous people.

My dear departed friend - Hoagland is about to name drop like a bastard.
Pedal to the metal. Be ready for some serious bullshit since the "dear departed
friend" is obviously dead. Therefore no checking up can take place.

MSNBC,CNN,CBS,FOX and all that - Hoagland name dropping news corporation
names attempting to legitimise himself by association.

Do you remember <insert some ancient fucking 1960's TV show> - Again
Hoagland waxing lyrical and saying six words when he could have used two.
Interpreted as a pathetic attempt to associate himself with TV from way
back as if he was an actual TV regular.

Stay tuned !!!!! - Keep buying into my shit until I come up with more shit.

This could change everything - Get ready for nothing to happen and Hoagland
to instantly forget and move onto the next thing that could change

What are the odds ? - Meaningless Hoagland mathematical drivel about to be
spouted. Hoagland again assuming his audience have the brains of a
lobotomized mouse (actually most of them do).

In our model - Hoagland loves to use sciency sounding terms. He loves to
use the word model, he really really loves to use the word model. He also
uses it because when one of his predictions yet again fails to materialise
Hoagland will say it was only a model.

If we are correct
- Misuse of the Royal "we". Hoagland loves to give the
impression that he is heading up a huge team of scientists in a gleaming
office and lab complex. It is however just him. On his todd, on his
lonesome. So the use of the word "we" to describe himself in the singular
perhaps points to a superiority complex. Or maybe he just fancies the
Queen. Come to think of it she's one of the few people he has
mentioned on air without actually claiming to know them. 

Back in my Cronkite daysI was Walter Cronkite's science adviser.  Translates as "I used to be a fact checker for Cronkite on and off for two years."


  1. "Follow the data" --I have no idea how to do data analysis.

    "Science is nothing if not numbers." --I'm about to make up some numbers.

    "You get an A, move to the top of the class!" --I love being smarter than everyone and getting other people to agree with me when they have no idea what I'm saying.

  2. "This is code." --They said one thing, I'm going to make it mean whatever I want.

  3. "It's extraordinary / enormous / absolutely astonishing!"
    -- [but a bit later] --- "It's only a tip of the iceberg".

    Another classic is "remember all science starts with just seeing a pattern".
    [Of course paranoia, numerology and pareidolia start like that too.]

    "Remember, the art of politics - is the exact language."


    "That's called science".

    "Okay, this now gets a little technical..." [prepare to be overwhelmed with nonsense detail]

  4. Genuinely laughed out loud at those. Thanks :-)

  5. My favorite is "the lie is different at every level". It's Hoagland's way of explaining the logical inconsistencies in his massive (and ever expanding) pile of conspiracy theories.

  6. Science is nothing if it's not prediction - Hoagland is about to claim having predicted something, sometime in the past 40 years. The ocean under Europa's ice sheet or water on the Moon are his two favourite predictions. Even though he predicted neither.

  7. "Of course, <> was all my idea originally."

    ref: The Apollo 15 hammer & feather stunt (actually Joe Allen's idea)